Who’s good at getting gag birthday gifts?

Not every Sun sign is gleeful at getting a silly gag gift for their birthday, some are downright disappointed and disgusted that you could get it so wrong!

Aries have a very healthy ego so while they hate to be made to look stoopid, they (and Leos) do like to be seen as heroes. A fake Oscar-type statue for the “Best…” would appeal as would superhero outfits, James Bond type gadgets and stuff that appeals to the child in them.

Taureans lurrve food and this is one area where you could have fun (with them). They have an “earthy” approach to life so if you combine one of their favourite foods – chocolate – in the shape of their favourite umm, bodily organs, you could be onto a winner. Libras would be quietly appalled, however.

Geminis and Sagittarians have low attention spans and love silly, frankly childish birthday gifts, especially ones which startle others, eg whoopee cushions, stink bombs etc.

Cancerians are most likely to be very upset if it’s tasteless as they’re such sensitive little souls, but don’t mind gentle humour, especially if it’s got a cute connection with home and family. Fridge stickers, embroidered pillows with cute sayings are well-received.

Neither Virgos nor Capricorns are famous for slapping their thighs upon receiving gag gifts, unfortunately. Since they’re so work-obsessed, office gags can amuse Virgos (slightly). Money-related gags can sometimes tickle Capricornian funny bones, but only if they’ve got a couple of Sagittarius planets in their chart!

Librans are completely freaked out by fake vomit, replica poo and so on (whereas that doesn’t faze the Scorpios one bit). If it’s a gag, it has to be tasteful. Hard, I know! Scorpios also like rather naughty, sexy gag gifts as they like being seen as complete sex maniacs.

Aquarians love electronic gizmos and things that shock others. Anything faintly Star Trek-y or out of this world or that appeals to their love of humanity could work.

Pisces swing from extreme bad taste to high ‘n’ mighty puritanicalism. It depends on their mood. Since they’re famed for their uh, drinking, gags which celebrate this particular vice can amuse them. Pisces also rules illusion, so magic tricks can work their ahem, magic, too.

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

Oprah’s amazing birthday gift to her employees

Oh boy! I want to work for Oprah Winfrey!

As part of the celebrations for her 55th birthday, the undisputed queen of TV talkshow programs has taken her employees and their families to a popular Spanish tourist attraction in Barcelona, (keep in mind that the Oprah show is filmed in Chicago, USA) where they’ll spend three nights before going on a 10-day Mediterranean cruise around Italy, Greece, Turkey and Malta.

She has – count ‘em – 1,700 employees so with all of them taking at least two other people (spouse/partner and an incredibly lucky child), that’s already 5,100 people she’s taking on holidays. In 2005, she took all of them on an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii.

Apart from the fact she’s a gazillionaire and can afford it, why, from an astrological point of view is Oprah so generous?

Oprah has her Ascendant and Moon in Sagittarius. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet of expansion (hence her weight issues), generosity (well, hello!), and optimism. She lives life with gusto and her enthusiasm is palpable. Her Jupiter in Gemini (communication, talking, presenting) is in her 6th house of work and health. She is one mighty generous employer and they love her for it. She has her Sun (your basic personality), Mercury (what you think about) and Venus (what you love) in Aquarius (friends and group activities) in her 2nd house of income. She loves what she can do with money, thinks about what she can do with money (did you ever see the episode where every audience member got a new car?) and makes money from just being herself.  And the trips overseas? Sagittarius rules travel.

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

Giving back to charity with your gifts

There are a lot of people – my sister is one of them – who’s prepared to give a birthday gift, but doesn’t like the commercialism of Christmas gift-giving.

In 2004, Kirsten paid for a pig in a Third World country for Dad as his Christmas gift (yes he is an Aquarius, but since he has a few planets in Capricorn, he’ll never be as hippie-ish as she’d wish). So while he wasn’t particularly thrilled that he’d bought Babe for someone else, if you want your gifts to DO something for people (regardless of your Sun sign), there are heaps of options, with Oxfam being one of the best-known organisations for helping to support people in developing countries.

Another I recently discovered is Goodshop.com. At this fantastic US website, which lists more than 1,000 stores, up to 30% of your gift purchase will go to your favorite cause. It lists stores specialising in arts, crafts and hobbies through to travel and everything in between.

You simply select your chosen charity (I entered the Salvation Army as an experiment) and selected the Gifts & Flowers category. There you’ll find all the websites listed with their donation amounts, with the highest in that category (6-10%) belonging to gift retailer Uncommon Goods. In the Computer Hardware & Electronics section (hey, techie gifts appeal to many Aquarians!), buying toner from 123 Inkjets will create a 14% donation of your purchase price.

It really is the gift that keeps on giving.

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

Gift ideas that happen to be tax deductible

It would be so handy if there was just one end-of-financial-year worldwide. It can range from 31 March in Canada, to 30 June in Australia  and New Zealand and I can’t quite work out if it’s 15 April in the US or not!

Usually places like Officeworks, Staples and WH Smith run endless ads for stocking up on tax-deductible items near the end of each financial year to help you maxmise your tax deductions.

But with a little lateral thinking, many of these places – and others – can create fantastic opportunities to stock up on items that are not only tax-deductible for your work, but could also make very good win-win gifts for family and friends. They get a great gift and hey presto! you get a tax deduction!

You know how your parents are always after a nice photo of you? If you run your own business you can claim photography expenses for a classic head shot you can use in your media kit etc. Frame it in a nice silver frame and voila! An instant tax-deductible gift for your parents and grandparents. (Your friends might not be so thrilled though…)

Work outside as a tradie? Buy a glam pair of super-dark sunglasses and thrill your Aries who always loves to look cool.

Run a cafe? Your Taurean foodie will get the joy of a glossy new cookbook while you get a tax deduction.

Geminis lurrrve their gadgets and the taxman won’t know if you actually kept that new iPhone for yourself or not. If you don’t want to spring for that much, there are a bunch of consumer magazines appropriate to your work area (medical industry = Good Medicine, automotive = Wheels, funds management = Money, and so on) that you could consider.

Most Cancerians are like moths to a flame in hardware stores. If you work in the building trade, it’s all the excuse you need to give them a portable handyman kit.

If you’re in the beauty trade, present your favourite Leo with an industrial-strength hairdryer for their mane or a goodie bag full of the latest beauty products.

Know a Virgo? You can give them all types of home office doo-dads from Kikki K and keep ‘em and the tax man happy.

Work in the interior design industry? Interesting evening classes on interior design and lifestyle (Coco Republic ran a successful series recently and have created some for Melbourne for June) can make for a very thoughful gift for your Libran design maven.

It’s hard to go past Scorpios without thinking of their famous need for privacy (they can’t bear people going through their things). For a left-field gift they’ll appreciate – and you can deduct – give them a paper shredder!

Many people who work in the travel industry are lucky enough to receive familiarisation trips (“famils”). Why not take your favourite Sagittarius as your guest the next time you have to check out a new adventure overseas?

If you take your laptop on work trips, it’s likely you’ll need a fancy new one which makes it ideal for Capricorns. Or what about a good business-oriented self-help tome.

Run a restaurant? Your kooky Aquarius teenager might actually like those funky checked black and white chef’s trousers.

Work in entertainment? Make use of your tax deductions for movie tickets and buy a book of ‘em for your favourite Pisces film fanatic.

If you’ve never been big on buying gifts, this is one way it might actually become kinda fun.

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

Regifting keeps gift-givers in the loop

Regifting is one phenomenon that’s been gaining ground thanks to the coinciding Global Financial Crisis and the anti-clutter trend. If you can clean up your home, give someone a gift AND save money in the process - happy days.

Have a look around your home. There’s SURE to be something suitable you can pass on for someone’s birthday. Here’s a quick guide to what items you could safely regift to certain Sun signs without causing too much distress. (It goes without saying that you’re not going to regift anything that’s dirty, broken or in poor condition! Also, ideally it should still be in the original packaging…)

Jewellery – rings, bangles and bracelets (Geminis), pendants, necklaces (Taurus), gold anything that’s good (Leo), matching set jewellery (Libra), antique family heirlooms, pearls (Cancer and Capricorn), mood rings (Pisces), toe rings , “statement” pieces (Aquarius), belly chains, anything hand-crafted (Virgo), leather jewellery (Aries, Scorpio), ethnic pieces (Sagittarius).

Books – cookbooks (Cancer and Taurus), romantic novels (Leo and Libra), thrillers (Scorpio), sci-fi (Aquarius), self-help (Aquarius and Virgo), travel (Sagittarius), business (Capricorn), mystical, movie or music books (Pisces), how-to manuals and sexy potboilers (Aries)

Homewares – bookshelves, storage items (Gemini and Virgo), doonas, comforters, mohair throws (Taurus and Cancer), ornate mirrors, boxed DVD sets (Leo), antiques, crystal vases (Capricorn), BBQ equipment, Persian rugs, travel souvenirs (Sagittarius), DIY power tools, sporting equipment (Aries), filing cabinets, fur throws, breakfast in bed trays (Scorpio). terrariums, vintage equipment, computers (Aquarius), aquariums, windchimes (Pisces), cake stands, serving platters, jewellery trays (Taurus and Libra).

Clothing – vintage shoes (Pisces, maybe Leo if they’re in ultra-good condition – the shoes, I mean), scarves (Taurus), fur coats, dramatic coats (Leo), wacky 60s/70s stuff (Aquarius), handbags (Virgo), belts and hats (Libra), brooches (Cancer), Doc Maartens boots, anything red (Aries).

And if it all seems too hard, go shopping!

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

Why some people are rubbish at receiving gifts

When a friend or family member’s birthday is coming up, how do you feel about presenting them with the gift? While the ads on TV will have you believe that everyone beams with joy upon a receiving a gift, nay, it isn’t so.

Why? There are some planetary signs, houses and aspects that will make some people grunt their thanks (at best!) while others light up like a Christmas tree when they receive something.

Everyone knows the type of gift recipient who will attempt to smile and nod when they receive something (and that’s their best efforts at enthusiasm). These ingrates are often shy about openly expressing their appreciation, and just can’t seem to get worked up with the thrill that makes it feel worthwhile making an effort to give them a gift.

Many of them are “cursed” with a Moon and/or Mercury conjunct/square/oppose Saturn aspect. Any of these combinations makes them awfully self-conscious, pessimistic, and disbelieving of their worthiness. If you get them a good present, they feel embarrassed, obligated, or even suspicious of your motives, ie “what do you really want from me?”. If you get them a (quite honestly) bad gift, they feel that they don’t deserve any better and will then moan no-one cares. Yes, it’s not too fun giving them something.

Others tough gift nuts to crack are those with Saturn in the second house. Saturn rules what makes you feel uncomfortable, insecure, unworthy, shy – you get the drift – and the second house rules money, values, possessions and other material goodies. If you don’t buy them a super-good, thoughtful present that’s the best you can afford, they feel you don’t care. These guys are quite often the type to judge their relationship with you by the quality of the gifts you give.

A related gift-giver is one with a heavy Virgo or Capricorn focus in their chart (and Taurus to a lesser degree). They can be surprisingly mean and have no compunction about re-gifting, or just giving you a “token” present eg a jar of jam, a small book etc – even for a milestone birthday. They just don’t like spending money. The gifts they prefer to give tend to be actual services ie they will happily help you move, repair something or offer advice that you’d normally pay for.

Geminis, Sagittarians and Aquarians can often get a kick out of giving someone a gift that strays dangerously close to being wildly inappropriate, just to get a rise out of them. These are the whoopee cushions and other silly gags (especially appealing to Sagittarians), books that send a message ie How to Win Friends and Influence People (Geminis are most guilty of this) and those are so left-field no-one can believe they bought them – take a bow, Aquarius.

Those with a heavy Aries, Mars or first house focus in their charts are hopeless at thinking about others. And you won’t be in any doubt how they feel about your prezzie! They either love it and start using it/playing it straightaway (at which point you heave a sigh of relief) or will say, “No, there’s a much newer/better/trendier/cooler X that I want” or something charmingly similar, making you furious you bothered. If they haven’t abdicated their gift-buying responsibilities to someone else, they tend to buy exactly what THEY like as that is what interests them. So ask these guys to give you a gift card to a store you like. You get what you want, it takes them mere seconds if they do it online with an electronic gift certificate AND you can let them know what you bought thanks to them. This’ll then encourage them to do it again as they love praise…

Next post – who’s great at receiving gifts…

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

1st wedding anniversary gift ideas involving paper (sort of)

A wedding anniversary gift survey found that couples are most likely to give each other traditional wedding anniversary gifts in the first three or so years of their marriage. After that, they tend to run out of ideas, money or pressure from others to conform!

So the first one is potentially the most affordable of all – paper. That is, unless you’re giving a lovely old-fashioned plane ticket overseas (my personal favourite) and then it can cost a bomb! Here a few unusual paper-based ideas for a first wedding anniversary gift that might grab your fancy:

Create a coffee table book (ideal for Geminis who tend to be voracious readers and massive fidgeters), and consider binding your treasured family photos in a personalised, leather-bound, gold-embossed photo album to delight home-lovin’ Cancers and Capricorn traditionalists.

If you can’t spring for plane tickets, this very unusual life map which depicts geographical features along with tales of your life might delight a wanderlust-prone Sagittarius.

A raunchy novel in which you and your partner could be a winner for a Scorpio, while if you’re not good with words, but your Libra or Pisces spouse wants to hear (or at least read) your sweet nothings, get a professional romantic letter-writer to do your dirty work for you!

Flush with funds? Take your Taurus or Leo to the best restaurant you can afford, teasing them first with the gift certificate for the restaurant or tickets to see their favourite musician.

Aries love to feel sexy and in control so they might love a gift certificate for a cool sports car for the day. Anything that has their name on it tends to be a winner…

Give your Virgo the day off from cleaning and haul in a professional organiser to tackle your filing (theirs won’t need anything doing to it but the stress you stop them from suffering by looking at yours will be worth it)!

And most Aquarians are too polite to say so, but they love anything that’s a bit different! Surprise them with a gift certificate where they can learn how to fly the trapeze or do fire-twirling. Just having dinner (unless it’s a truly unusual restaurant, cuisine or location) tends to make their eyes glaze over.

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

Personalised baby gifts recommended by other blogs: part 2

Little Librans (and Taureans too) have a real sweet tooth. (If CSI took the DNA from the little noseprints on the cupcake display window, I’d be willing to bet they’d find a bunch of wide-eyed Librans. And that’s just the adults.)  So they might like the pretty, swirly name plaques from Celebrations n Sweets. Another gift they’d swoon over is a makeover party (although it’s best if they’re over 5 or they might start eating the eyeshadows).

Scorpio children can be a little hard to read, being irritatingly good at keeping secrets. You can always get plenty of insight into them with a luxury BabyStars astrology report for parents. They love to know how things work and will get right into Where Did I Come From type books, playing Doctors and Nurses or Mothers and Fathers from a very young age (and then never stopping, really). They’ll enjoy poring over those endlessly fascinating cutaway books, such as ones on the Titanic, and other mysteries.  Nancy Drew, Agatha Christie and other detective stories will thrill your pre-teens.

Little Sagittarians are impatient to see the world and meet its inhabitants. Even if it’s just an overnighter up to the Central Coast, they’ll be thrilled to have their own bag. They might enjoy learning a new language while homebound kids could have a blast playing cowboys and Indians with their own teepee. Do save your sanity and washing machine from exploding by ensuring these tots wear only machine-washable clothes. Mud, grass, food and other stains stick to them with alarming regularity.

Capricorn children are a bit like Brad Pitt’s character in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: born old, becoming more childlike as time goes on. They usually adore their grandparents so something that helps them understand where they came from (ah, not in the same way your Scorpio child wants to know), could be a cute way to help them bond. They cringe at overtly cutesy, “babyish” stuff and take themselves rather seriously, wanting to hang out with the adults. Take them to an antiques market to let them to select something for their birthday. They’ll feel very grown-up and you’ll be in no danger of them bringing home a 7-foot purple Dorothy the Dinosaur toy.

Aquarian children are always a little bit different. Even as babies, there will be something about them that will stand out from the sea of little faces – and their parents often dress them uniquely, too. They’re surprisingly humanitarian and egalitarian at a very young age. Why not give them something that helps support a community? The older ones are a little suspicious of mass-market items.

Pisces children can spend HOURS daydreaming and being off in their own world. A dress-up chest full of fancy dress costumes could be a big hit! These soft-hearted creatures would adore saving and selecting an unwanted puppy or kitten from the local RSPCA. They also respond well to murals and music – anything that takes them out of reality. A little aquarium could be a favourite present although they will need to be old enough to understand Nemo needs feeding.

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

Has your wedding been predicted?

Well, not by me :) but by the US gurus in the wedding industry. These are the predicted hot trends for weddings for 2009:

* Smaller weddings with fewer guests (great for ultra-private Scorpios or for Leos wanting to make an impact for the same money)

* Destination weddings (music to the ears of a Sagittarius) or destination type weddings closer to home (ideal for Cancerians)

* Accent colours on dresses and cakes with the most popular being greens and blues (those sea-greens are often beloved by Pisces)

* Increased reliance on family and friends to help plan, pay, and provide some of the services (money-minded Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn wouldn’t hesitate to get people to chip in or help in some way)

* Increased use of green and eco-friendly products and services (this will probably appeal to the Aquarians)

* Simplified decorations, centrepieces and wedding invitations (Virgo usually can’t bear fussiness and prefers clean and simple)

* Increased use of online RSVPs vs. traditional mail-in RSVPs (could appeal to communication-crazy Geminis or Aries wanting to know the answer NOW)

* Off-peak weddings: mornings, afternoons, Fridays, Sundays, not in March etc – great for Aquarians wanting to be different or Scorpios who don’t want the hordes looking on

* Buffet meals, hors d’oeuvre, and cocktail receptions (Both Aries and Geminis don’t like to sit around all night at a meal so this could be ideal while Librans do like elegant cocktail parties)

* Cheesecakes, cupcakes and miniature cakes (line up, line up Taurus and Libra – the sweet tooths of the zodiac)

* All-inclusive packages (the earth signs again – keeping an eye on budgets).

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

March is the most popular month for weddings in Australia

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, March is the most popular month for weddings. It’s past the downpours of January and February, Christmas craziness in December, and it’s still beautifully warm.

So if you’ve got a wedding to attend and you’re trying to decide what to get them from their wedding list – or something not on the wedding gift registry at all, here is a quick rundown to what the bride might like according to her Sun sign. Yeah, well, it’s an unusual groom who is terribly interested what is being put on the gift list…

Aries – buy them an adrenalin-pumping experience – parachuting, scuba diving, flying a helicopter, rally driving etc. Anything that makes them scream with excitement and generates a bit of sexy competition with the groom…

Taurus – they really love their food so a gourmet hamper would be great. Music soothes their soul as does something to do with the garden – a pair of topiary trees or perhaps a beautiful wire or stone wall sconce to provide candlelit dinners outside?

Gemini – they love their books and communication devices. What about a truly beautiful coffee table book? Or coffee table? Some Geminis might be excited to get a new laptop, mobile or iPod.

Cancer – these lovely homebodies really love their house. A snugly cashmere throw, a stunning framed photograph of their family or something to do with cooking – a large Le Creuset baking dish? – could do the trick.

Leo – they love glamour and often imagine themselves as a movie star ready for their close-up. Most Leos love mirrored items so a mirrored jewellery box could be ideal. A leather-bound guest book for the hallway? A couple’s glamour photography shoot?

Virgo – health and work are two of their twin loves. If your budget runs to it, a treadmill would be fantastic. They also appreciate self-help books. They also love a tidy house – what about going in with others on a professional cleaner?

Libra – these guys are the original romance junkies. They can never have too many candelabras, crystal cut vases, or chandeliers to set the mood. Or what about a year’s supply of fresh flowers delivered weekly?

Scorpio – these sexy sorts are notoriously private about their private lives (a home safe could be a cracker of a gift) but a set of exquisite Egyptian cotton sheets could be highly appreciated. A video camera to make um, home movies?

Sagittarius – if they requested no gifts, but money towards their honeymoon instead, I wouldn’t be surprised – Saggies lurrve their travel. Think about a set of Lonely Planet books to destinations they’ve long craved to visit, binoculars, snazzy backpacks or other travel accessories. Go on, give them a gift voucher for Virgin Blue.

Capricorn – keen on their careers and being a pillar of society, they want “establishment” items. If you buy only one thing, make it the very best, but not bling-y. Antiques often go down well.

Aquarius – their friends are their family so think about things that make it easy to have friends over all the time – it could be of those outdoor mushroom heaters you see at bars, a cool BBQ set or what about a great iPod docking station? Those with a humanitarian bent could appreciate a wedding gift whose purchase helps a Third World community.

Pisces – Mystical, musical and/or movie-mad – any of these interests are things Pisces usually likes. Give them a thumping great set of speakers and sub-woofers, a feng shui consultant for their home or what about a boxed DVD set of their favourite movie stars.

Read the monthly stars for AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces.

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